Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
