Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize