Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So many bounce houses so little time
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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