Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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