omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
