If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
