Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
