I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she told me i tasted like america
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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