fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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