I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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