I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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