omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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