i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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