I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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