also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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