Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am one with the molecules
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
