Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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