i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
