Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
