whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
