well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
