Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
