Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
