At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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