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• (510): View more from California

  The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  he shaved USA in his pubs

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me

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• (516): View more from New York

  OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE

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• (415): View more from California

  I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.

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