she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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