Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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