We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
