Where is the hickey?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
