what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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