I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
