She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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