This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
