I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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