are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
