you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
