Can Purell be used as lube?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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