Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize