I'm going to jail i love you
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
