Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
