I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
