I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
