i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
