I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
