just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
