Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
