dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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