I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
