She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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