were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Drunk is not a location!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
