Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
