You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
