Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
