i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
