Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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