Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
