Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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