And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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