How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I skipped work to stalk him.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
