That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
