You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
As shirtless as possible
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
