You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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