oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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